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Domestic violence or intimate partner violence impacts people of any race, age, gender or economic status. Violence can be physical, verbal, emotional and psychological. But financial abuse is one of the most common reasons that individuals of violence stay in or return to their relationships.
Many people, particularly women, fear for their economic well-being and become unsure of what to do. MoneyGeek shares options that can empower women to find support and assistance.
If you feel you are in danger, follow these steps:
Financial abuse involves manipulating a person's ability to acquire, use and maintain financial resources. They may be restricted from working or may have their money stolen. They may also have to justify minimum expenses.
Financial abuse can take many forms. If your partner has a pattern of using any of the following tactics over you or your relationship, that person may be engaging in financial abuse.
For many women, domestic violence or intimate partner violence is life-altering. Leaving an unhealthy relationship takes courage, planning and support. Making adequate emergency and financial preparations can be a way to limit feeling overwhelmed. Rehearse and practice your plans to know the exact steps you’ll take in a situation. The more you rehearse, the better prepared you’ll be.
Having an emergency plan can help an individual leave an unhealthy relationship. Survivors can feel more prepared to forge a new path and end a cycle of dependence and violence when they are able to plan ahead.
An escape bag will make it easier to leave if you are in life-threatening danger. The bag should include clothes, cash, essential medications and copies of important financial documents like a house deed, life insurance policy, Social Security card, birth certificate, passport, and children's Social Security cards, birth certificates and passports.
Several copies of important documents should be kept in a safe place, like a friend’s or family member's house. The original should be hidden somewhere else. Important documentation can include birth certificates, vaccine records, a driver’s license, work permits and other documents listed in this safety plan template.
You can contact your local police station to let them know that you plan on leaving an abusive relationship. Police stations can assist in safety planning which is usually free and available in multiple languages.
Consider safe options for you and your loved ones. Always take your children with you when you leave. If you have pets, your safety plan should include somewhere that your pets can go temporarily while you work to get back on your feet.
Creating a code word can help in an emergency situation. Explain to children, friends, neighbors or family that when they hear the code word, they should call the police.
Find out if family or friends can provide emergency housing. Explore the temporary living situations offered by local agencies. Your local county website should offer a list of domestic violence shelters in your area. Programs like Safe at Home provide confidential addresses for domestic violence survivors to use to continue to receive mail.
In many unhealthy relationships, women have no or limited control over their finances. Economic fear may lead many women to stay in holding patterns with their relationship. If a woman does manage to leave, she may do so without a financial base. The following steps will help you overcome potential financial struggles.
Review all accounts and make secure copies of account information, addresses, customer service numbers and passwords. Make copies of the latest statements and balances. Store these copies out of the house or scan them and store them online in an account that cannot be accessed by anyone else. If possible, keep a cash stash somewhere safe.
Erase your search history using the function in your internet browser. Erasing your search history can make it more difficult for others to trace you or your accounts. Change passwords and keep new passwords private and secure. Open an email address that others cannot access.
Assessing your finances means making a plan for housing, healthcare and other issues. Without an adequate or safe place to go, it’s difficult to leave a bad situation. Survivors who were receiving healthcare under their partner will lose that coverage when they leave, so be aware of your policy.
If an abuser has not allowed a woman to work or build their finances, they may not have the financial means to pay their own bills once they leave. Begin thinking about how you can find employment, access money and open a bank account.
Research conducted by the National Commission on COVID-19 and Criminal Justice found that there was an 8% increase in domestic violence reports during COVID, and it’s believed that number is highly underreported. There was also a decline in arrests of less severe violence because police were not allowed in homes.
“COVID made the perfect storm for a pandemic within a pandemic,” said Dr. Catherine Kaukinen, contributing author to the National Commission study. “We saw COVID become a tool for abusers. Everything was exacerbated and women were unable to go to hospitals or shelters to seek help.”
Recently, the Biden administration announced a $200 million allotment from the American Rescue Plan to support services for survivors of domestic violence as a result of the rise in cases during lockdown.
There are various sources of financial support and assistance for survivors of violence. You can find resources and tools for housing, medical, legal and nutritional needs.
A lack of safe and affordable housing is a common barrier for survivors of violence. Women often have difficulties choosing to leave if they don’t feel they have somewhere safe to go. Whether it’s temporary or permanent, it’s advisable to start preparing and securing your safe home before you leave.
Temporary housing, also known as transitional housing, is short-term housing with supportive services that address a survivor’s immediate needs. Domestic violence programs across the United States have implemented transitional housing options such as scattered-site models, cluster models, and communal models that give survivors a safe place to live while preparing for permanent housing. The following are good resources to consider:
Independent housing refers to housing outside of an assistance program and can be an option for survivors who already have a financial foundation. Options can include renting or buying a home.
If you are renting, it may be necessary to purchase renters insurance, which can protect you and your belongings against fire, vandalism or another insured disaster.
If you’re considering purchasing a home, research popular home loans such as conventional, FHA and USDA loans and review mortgage rates to get a better idea of what your overall estimated mortgage payments may be.
It's also important to budget for homeowners insurance. You can find the best homeowners insurance by shopping around online or calling several companies for quotes.
Both temporary and short-term food assistance programs can help ensure that a survivor and her children meet their nutritional needs. An array of federal, state and local programs can help.
More than half of women seen by mental health professionals have been affected by an intimate partner. Domestic violence can result in post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, depression and other conditions. There are several places women can go for medical and mental health support.
Survivors of domestic violence can access assistance to exercise their rights. Legal aid services and lawyers can help a survivor understand restraining orders, child custody, family court and divorce law, among other topics. Often, domestic violence is covered by state laws, although regulations can vary.
Legal Challenge | How to Do This |
|---|---|
Obtaining a restraining or protective order | You can file for a restraining order through your local county courthouse or domestic violence resource center. |
Gaining child custody | Always take a child with you if you leave an abusive relationship and document all abuse when it happens. This way, you can prove abuse at a custody hearing. |
Differing state arrest laws | States have laws that tell enforcement officers how to respond to intimate violence. Some states require an arrest, some leave it to the officer’s discretion. It’s best to check on your state’s laws. |
Guaranteeing safety | Most states provide victims with the right to privacy and safety while in court. This includes the right to ask for separate waiting rooms and staggered court times. |
Filing for divorce | If you live in a “no fault” state, you do not have to prove abuse for a divorce to be granted. A lawyer can help you file for divorce. |
Legal issues can be highly complex for survivors of domestic violence. The following legal resources are a good place to start.
Feeling financially secure can help an individual walk away from domestic violence or intimate partner violence. Improving personal finances can be a key way to begin to achieve independence.
When you’ve worked hard to regain your financial independence, you’ll want to make sure you’re protected with insurance. You should plan on getting separate auto insurance coverage if you’re taking a vehicle with you when you leave. It may also be a good idea to add coverage with a new insurance company or shop around and compare car insurance quotes for the most affordable options.
You’ll also want to obtain proper health insurance for you and your children for any physical or emotional needs. There are a variety of insurance options available for low-income families and individuals and even health insurance options for young adults.
If you already have life insurance coverage, make sure to review your current policy to update the beneficiary information and remove your former partner if that person is listed. If you have not purchased life insurance and have children or other family members who would be financially impacted by your death, purchasing coverage as soon as possible is advisable.
Having a good credit score is an important part of your financial health. A credit score allows you to access loans and credit cards which can help you in regaining your financial independence. Having a higher score will likely mean getting a lower interest rate on loans. Even bad credit scores can be improved by paying bills on time, keeping low credit card balances, paying off bills on time and paying off bills in full.
Earning and spending money can be empowering. The following sites and resources are good to use if entering the workforce after an absence due to domestic violence.
Women can regain their financial independence in several ways! One is to obtain a level of education/higher education or consider entrepreneurship to increase your earning potential. There are several resources that are available to survivors of domestic violence such as scholarships, assistance for equipment such as laptops, business/startup company grants and loans. Second, before impulse buying, stop and think if you really need what you are about to purchase, or can it wait until you get back on your feet? I had to do this while I was getting back on my feet in the shelter. The things I did purchase, I bought from Goodwill and other thrift stores. I ate the food they served, even when I did not want to, and although I had a car, I walked to the places I could walk to in order to save the gas in my car, and money.
It’s an old adage, but knowledge is power. With financial education on topics like budgeting, credit, job readiness and home ownership, survivors can gain the confidence to make their own decisions and create a new future for themselves. Finding a solid support network during the transition period is also critical, as it creates the opportunity for someone to reach their financial goals one by one. Many domestic violence shelters have economic empowerment programs, as we do here at The Shelter for Abused Women and Children, that provide both financial literacy classes and personal financial planning.
Consider taking these four steps to maintain financial independence:
Ask a question, it’s free
Ask an expertFinances are one of the biggest barriers to leaving an unhealthy relationship. Whether you’re currently in, recently left or surviving such a relationship, many other resources can give you support.
About Nathan Paulus
Nathan Paulus is the Head of Content Marketing at MoneyGeek, with nearly 10 years of experience researching and creating content related to personal finance and financial literacy.
Paulus has a bachelor's degree in English from the University of St. Thomas, Houston. He enjoys helping people from all walks of life build stronger financial foundations.
